


set aside the highlight reel

by lesbinej



Series: tumblr kiss prompts TWO! [3]
Category: Runaways (Comics)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Light Angst, affirmations, this is... a lil angsty, which always happens when i write them unfortunately
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 21:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20824217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbinej/pseuds/lesbinej
Summary: arielabarers said: DEANORU 25(25 + a kiss based on a song)title three by sleeping at last





	set aside the highlight reel

**Author's Note:**

> i think this is one of my first deanorus since biry so... whew  
listen to the song also gun emoji  
edit* its not i just keep thinking i wrote biry like yesterday

Nico’s been pushing her away—Karolina knows it. She knows that’s what she’s doing, with every eye contact avoided, with every shun of her shoulders, with every text ignored. Her only question is  _ why. _

Maybe her head was right—maybe it really is too soon after Julie and she’s not ready for another relationship. She must have done something wrong, something to make Nico come to her senses and push her away once more. 

But  _ what?  _

She’s lying in her bed, and though it’s dark outside, she’s in the spot where normally the sunlight bounces into her room through a complicated series of mirrors that Chase set up—an ingenious idea she’s only upset that she didn’t think of it sooner. If she concentrates, she can almost feel the warmth on her skin—it’s a pale fraction of energy that she would get, but she’ll take what she can get. 

The only thing missing right now is Nico.

Normally, the nights come and Nico’s in bed next to her, reading a book, usually—Karolina only peeks at the covers, but they’ve been a wide variety of things;  _ A Modern Witch’s Manual, A Winter’s Tale,  _ or  _ The Goldfinch.  _ Nico would lie reading, sometimes with an earbud in but most often not, since Karolina keeps a conversation going while she’s doing yoga on the rug nearby. 

Except Nico isn’t reading Shakespeare or Donna Tartt—she isn’t in here at all. She’s somewhere else, and Karolina is lying in her bed instead of being thirty seconds into the lizard pose and starting to feel her hip cramping. There’s a cold, slightly gross-looking latte on her bedside table that she only drank half of, and she can pretty much already hear Nico’s sigh of disgust. 

So Karolina sits up, picking up the cup between two fingers, and rolls out of bed to throw it away. 

That’s something Karolina’s proud of, lately—she and Nico didn’t fix each other. Relationships don’t make someone what they aren’t and they don’t make a person into someone else, or cure them. But it’s motivation to better herself, encouragement, and support from someone she loves. Nico isn’t fixing her—she’s fixing herself, slowly, and she has a safety net for days that aren’t so good. 

Karolina frowns, trying to remember when she last saw Nico. Dinner, probably—or maybe a little after. It was Chase’s turn to cook, and his taco casserole was surprisingly not terrible, though Victor complained loudly the whole time about it being an offense to God, or whatever. It wasn’t like he even had to eat it.

Karolina misses Nico right now—which is dumb, since they’re literally dating, and Nico’s room is maybe fifteen seconds away. But she likes being curled into Nico’s side until she falls asleep, and right now she just  _ really  _ wants to play with her girlfriend’s hair. 

So Karolina slides a pair of socks on, since the Hostel floors are perpetually grimy, and shuts her door behind her, quietly, conscious of the late hour. If it were anyone else, she’d be worried about Nico even being awake—but it’s Nico. Her circadian rhythm is all kinds of fucked-up.

Nico’s door is cracked open, just a little, and when Karolina pushes it open, Nico isn’t even in bed. She’s standing a little by her “desk”—really, it’s like, a fairly wide piece of wood propped up on cinder blocks, but it serves its purpose—cooing over a fern that hangs from a crack in the ceiling that she’d shoved a hook in, fussing with its leaves and adjusting the magical lights that peek from deeper within the plant. The whole scene was so… candid. And Karolina feels like she might die on the spot. 

The door creaks as Karolina knocks it once, twice, just to announce her presence. Nico barely flinches—she’s pretty guarded all the time, so it’s unsurprising. Anyone else would call her paranoid. Karolina calls her protective. 

“Hey,” she says now, her voice still a little melty from watching Nico.

“Hey, yourself.” She barely turns, watching Karolina from the corner of her eye—steel grey pinned on her, watching, watching. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Karolina takes a seat on the edge of Nico’s bed—feet tucked under her, always. “I just missed you.”

A familiar, fond smile quirks Nico’s lip, and she turns again to her plant, obscuring her face from Karolina and replacing it with a short mess of a black bob. 

“It’s not like we live together, or anything.”

“No, I know, it’s just—” Karolina suddenly feels silly, silly for all of this. “I like spending time with you.”

Dancing around the point—she knows it. But Nico just finally satisfies herself with the plant, and then turns to sit down next to Karolina.

“Same here.”

Karolina looks at Nico. Her face is something Karolina’s loved longer than she even remembers—it’s so familiar, so much of a part of her, as much as her arm or her leg. Nico is a part of her. 

“Are we okay?” She finds herself asking. 

Nico avoids her gaze. “Yeah.”

“Are we?” More insistent. “‘Cause it doesn’t feel like it.”

Nico sighs, long and drawn out. She flops down backward.

“I dunno, Karrie—I feel like I’ve never really been this serious about a relationship before.”

Well, she’s actually talking, which is more than Karolina expected—she twists to face Nico, propping up on her elbows so she can look her girlfriend in the eyes. 

“Are we that serious already?” It’s been maybe a few months since the gala, certainly not even a year yet. It feels like last week that they almost died fighting the children of the Gibborim—but it feels like a lifetime ago that Nico kissed her on that balcony. 

“Are we?” Nico’s stare to Karolina’s soft gaze—it’s sharp and questioning and desperate. Karolina’s heart dissolves instantly.

“I’ve always been serious.” Soft. Gentle. 

Nico’s eyes flick up to the ceiling, and Karolina can see her swallow hard. “Me, too.”

Karolina reaches out a hand—a second passes, and Nico takes it with her own. Their fingers twist together like they were made for it.

“And that scares me.” Nico finishes. 

“I know.” Karolina wishes she could ease Nico’s heart, but this is something she has to figure out for herself. “But I’m not going to leave you.”

“I know.”

“I won’t hurt you,” Karolina promises. “I’ll always be here.”

Nico swallows, and her eyes close. “Say it one more time.”

“Which part?”

“All of it.”

“I’m not going to leave you. I won’t hurt you. I’ll always be here.” Karolina’s voice is barely above a whisper, low and steady, clear so Nico can hear her and understand her. The hand in Karolina’s tightens, and they just breathe for a moment, together. One, two. One, two.

“Thank you.” Nico’s eyes open again, and she looks at Karolina. “I’m sorry for pushing you away.”

“I’m sorry for not making sure you knew I was here.”

“Oh, you did. It just… it scared me.”

“That I’m here?”

“Yeah. That you still are, anyways.”

_ Oh.  _ Karolina feels like her bones are jelly, a little, or maybe melted wax. 

“Why would I leave?” 

“Shall I count the ways?”

“There’s nothing,” Karolina says, and she’s never been convinced. “I’ve seen it all, Nico.”

“I know.”

“And I’m still here.”

“I know.”

“And you’re still so… amazing.”

Nico doesn’t say anything to that. Karolina feels nothing but fierce love in that moment, just wishing, wishing Nico could see the person she sees—someone so strong and so weak at the same time, someone that’s been through the worst of the world and still come out so gentle, so soft. Someone worthy of love.

“Can I kiss you?”

Nico laughs—just a little, barely a bubble of joy. “Do you even have to ask?”

“I’ll always ask,” Karolina murmurs, leaning forward to press her lips to Nico’s. She tries to pour everything into the kiss, all the love and adoration she has, burning from her lips. She tries to say  _ I love you, I love you, I love you  _ as many times as she can in her head before she runs out of breath. 

When Nico pulls back to breathe, she lets it be said aloud: “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Nico’s smile is cathartic, and it sends Karolina’s head spinning even more than the kisses did. 

Maybe she’s enough to make Nico believe in herself. Maybe it’ll be okay. Maybe one day Nico will see herself through Karolina’s eyes, and see how utterly worthy she is. 

Until then, Karolina will give her as many kisses as she needs to get there. 

  
  



End file.
